Hey Folks,
It's been a while since my last post. Sorry for the hiatus, but seminary is more time consuming than you'd think. When I wasn't reading or writing for class I was hanging out with the youth. They are so wonderful! In the midst of all the chaos of planning, teaching, fundraising, and other ministry stuff I find solace in the time that I spend around a table talking about life and God with kids that are just scratching the surface of what it means to be Jesus followers.
It's been a challenging past couple of months. I've told some of my closest friends and mentors that seminary, at least this first semester, seems like a place you go to have your faith tested. Part of me feels like it is where churches send people to try and talk them out of ministry and following God. And for the first time in a long time I found myself wrestling with the nuts and bolts of what it means to be a "Christian."
What's even more interesting is the way that everything comes together. My most taxing course this past semester was Introduction to the Old Testament. Somewhere along the way I feel like a lot of Christians have chosen to focus on the New Testament and do away with the Old. I know that is how I felt for the longest time. But there's something beautiful about the way it all works, isn't there? I mean, there is this beautiful story of people fighting for freedom, gaining it, losing it, and all the while God is in the midst. Sound familiar?
Even now, as I am struggling to free myself from so many different ideas and opinionsI can see the progression in the story of my life. In the Old Testament so many terrible thing happened to Israel, but the people had such resolve that they refused to give up. They knew that through all of the trouble God was somewhere in the midst. Here's another thing, Israel means to wrestle. At one point in the Old Testament Jacob actually wrestled with God. What should we take away from such an event?
I was sitting with the youth the other day and we discussed the importance of decision making. I pointed out that perhaps a big part of being a leader is actually heading somewhere. Let me explain, if a general were approached by a soldier of lesser rank in the midst of a chaotic battle and asked what his orders were and the general responded by saying, "I don't know. Both options look bad." How would the troops respond? So, maybe it's not the end result that is important. Maybe it's picking an option and going with it.
I have chosen to go to seminary and dive deeper into this journey with God and Jesus. It's not always pretty and sometimes the things I read and hear don't sound all that good. I wish I had all the answers, but is that what it's all about? Is being sure about every aspect of Christianity the ultimate goal? I hope not.
In 1 Thessalonians Paul tells us to, "Test all things and hold fast to that which is good." I am convinced that Jesus is good. I'm convinced that He loves me and that He wants me to do His work. I've got a lot of questions and not so many answers, but there a times when I cannot stop smiling. When my heart is troubled and I have a million questions circling in my head I can walk outside and smile because I realize that it's not always about the answers. Sometimes it's about the journey.
- Brother Blake
